You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.