You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.