You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.