You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.