Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.