You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.