You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.