I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.