I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.