You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.