You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.