You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.