Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here, ain't it! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna go take a nap now, all right?"
Jeff FoxworthyPlease don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.
Jeff FoxworthyYou might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
Jeff FoxworthyWhen you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Jeff Foxworthy