I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.