I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.