I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.