You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.