You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.