I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my head and said, "You can only do one," I'd think it would be stand-up. I think it's the coolest job in the world.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.