I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my head and said, "You can only do one," I'd think it would be stand-up. I think it's the coolest job in the world.

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.