You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.