You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.