You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.