You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.