You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.