You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.