You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.