You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.