You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.