Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

If you don't have anything good to say about someone, you must be talking about Hillary Clinton.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck