There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love. It's about gettin' drunk and gettin' sober. It's about leavin' and it's about comin' home. It's real music sung by real people for real people, the people that make up the backbone of this country. You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.