You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.