You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.