You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.