You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.