You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.