You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.