I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.