I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.