As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.