As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!