Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?