If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.