You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my head and said, "You can only do one," I'd think it would be stand-up. I think it's the coolest job in the world.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.