You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.