You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.