You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke.

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.