You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.