If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.