If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.