You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.