You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.