You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.