You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.