You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.