I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.