I'm an outdoor nut. If I'm not working, I'm on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.