The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.