The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.