You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.