I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.

I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.

Everyone traveling alone is just on their phones the whole time.

I think that, for me, my favorite thing to do is perform standup onstage. Everything else I do is for the exposure to do more stand-up onstage, and for the money, and for the health insurance.

Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.

I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.

I don't have that addictive, "What's going on?" feeling anymore, thank god.