You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.

I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but you're totally seeing things. It's a pretty cool experience.

My mother was like, "What did they teach you?", and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.

If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do.

I think that, for me, my favorite thing to do is perform standup onstage. Everything else I do is for the exposure to do more stand-up onstage, and for the money, and for the health insurance.

I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.

It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.