I don't know if I don't believe in monogamy. I think I do believe in it depending on the person or situation or something.

I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.

That's the same thing that is making me like George W. Bush. "He was nice. I know he was nice. He didn't know what he was doing but he was nice."

I did buy a new piece of furniture so it's like, "Oh, that's something new." But generally my goals are made in the fall.

I don't know. Maybe [sex-ed] is my new calling?

People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic is you'll think of better tags."

I don't even think people really understand how you can get pregnant or when you get pregnant. I still have questions about that.