Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth

Biathletes need to eat 6.000 calories a day: six thousand! That's the equivalent of 2 pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 TWIX bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

I'm a horse of a man!

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?

My epiglottis is full of bees!