I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool.
Jeremy ClarksonI don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
Jeremy ClarksonMix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain.
Jeremy ClarksonDoes anyone really imagine for a moment that my wife gives two stuffs about global warming? She certainly did not appear to be all that bothered on Thursday evening when, during the great carbon-saving switch-off, I ran round the house furiously turning on every light, hair dryer, dishwasher and toaster.
Jeremy Clarkson