This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.

Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler

I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'

Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun - except at 4am when they hear a strange sound in the kitchen.