Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.

Unlike furious thin-lipped feminists, I tend not to draw distinctions between men and women, apart from in bed where you really do need to spot the difference.

Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.

Looking good in Italy is even more important than looking where you're going.

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.

If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them?