You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!

They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.

This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.

When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.

Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.

If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.