The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.

Cheating is only cheating when you get caught.

Australia was great. I would advise anybody to go there. In fact, if you couldn't live here, Australia would be the place to live. It's the most Americanized country that I've ever seen in the world.

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I meet the women of my dreams.

I'm an artist and I can draw very well. I'm amazed that everybody can't draw well because I can do it so effortlessly.

I don't know of any wrestler who hasn't, at one time or another, been with a fan. One time I met a woman at a match in Tennessee, and afterward we went to a little roadside motel. We checked in, went to the room, and enjoyed each other for an hour or so.

Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.