If at first you don't succeed, see if there is a prize for the losers.
Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!
Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.
When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.