On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

Our good time is sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper, writing a line on the back of a napkin. That is the most fun comedians ever have