I think when my mother died, it was such a - you know, a shock to the logic that I had been raised with.

I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?

Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.

Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate... being alone.

Thanksgiving, you know - Thanksgiving - it's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is we overeat.

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.