No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much.

Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.

There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.

The reason I say I'm a horrible person is I don't want myself to be presented as somebody who's a great Catholic.

The ridiculousness and idiocy of life is embraced and examined. It nurtures the childhood perspective in everyone.

I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren't done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing.