I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.