I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?

Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Let's face it, the gene pool needs a little chlorine.

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.