Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.

I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.

Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.